Romance Reboot Challenge
30 days of quick and easy love hacks
Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The heightened feelings of early romance are quickly replaced with the familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.
The good news is that studies have found that there are things you can do to get the romance back. And they are relatively easy (just in case you were imagining hours of marriage counseling).
If you are in a long term relationship and things are getting a little stale
You are at the start of a new relationship and want to keep the romance alive
I invite you to do something about it today.
Welcome to the Romance Reboot Challenge
I’m Michelle Archard
I’m a Romance Geek. I use my science training to turn the findings by the world’s foremost relationship researchers into actions that you can take to rekindle the romance in your relationship. I even test them on my own relationship, just to make sure they work.
I’ve compiled these science-based concepts into the 30 day Romance Reboot Challenge.
No-one wants more work in their lives (and being romantic shouldn’t be a chore), so I’ve only included Challenge tasks that are quick, easy and fun – Love Hacks that will make a difference.
Member of the International Association for Relationship Research
Member of the US National Council on Family Relations
Here’s how most romance attempts go down…
It’s Valentine’s Day. Or your wedding anniversary. Or your partner’s birthday.
You book a table for dinner at a local restaurant and buy the obligatory flowers.
You and your partner go for dinner and make small talk about work, your kids or your family/friends. Maybe you both spend time on your phones. You go home and maybe have the obligatory sex. Rinse and repeat for the next significant date. That’s it. That’s the ‘romance’ in your relationship.
Romance is not about the ‘big bang’ flowers and dinner every now and again (as much as I love a nice meal…).
Romance is about the daily habits and rituals that top up the love ‘bank’ that exists in every relationship. That bank is what you withdraw from when things go wrong. The more investment you make, the more buffer you have to protect your relationship.
But what kind of investments do you need to make? Most people don’t know where to start.
THE 8 HABITS OF HIGHLY ROMANTIC PEOPLE
By studying and consolidating what scientists such as Dr. John Gottman, Dr Helen Fisher, Gary Chapman, Dr Timothy Loving and others know about romance, 8 areas or ‘habits’ emerge. These are:
- Giving compliments and showing appreciation
- Touching your partner frequently in a loving way
- Spending quality time together as a couple
- Performing romantic gestures
- Doing deeds for your partner
- Giving gifts and tokens of your love
- Working on improving yourself
- Creating intimacy through self-disclosure
How do you put these habits into practice quickly and easily? With Love Hacks – quick positive ‘investments’ into the love bank that exists in every relationship – the bank that fills and empties with emotional supply and demand.
Identified by psychologist Eli Finkel, Love Hacks are shortcut ways to increase the supply of romance in your relationship. The Romance Reboot Challenge includes 30 Love Hacks – one each day.
Join the Romance Reboot Challenge
ONE ROMANCE HACK A DAY FOR A MONTH
HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL GET EACH DAY
Each day of the free Challenge you’ll receive an email detailing a Love Hack to complete – a fun way to boost the romance in your relationship (and make you wonder why you didn’t try something like this before). They are based on the 8 Habits of Highly Romantic People and will be highly actionable.
“When you leave the house today give your partner a long, slow, wet, deep kiss that lasts for 6 seconds. Scientists found that this was long enough to get the right hormones pumping, but not long enough to lead to more (unless you want it to…). Close your eyes and focus on how it feels on your lips and tongue.”
You’ll measure your progress at the start and end of the Challenge and you can join a Secret Facebook Group to get help from me and to share your experience with others on the Challenge.
NO SEX FOR THE MONTH
What??? You can’t be serious? I thought this romance stuff was supposed to result in MORE sex, not NO sex!
Banning sex for the month of the challenge is based on an idea by respected doctor and sex therapist Dr Rosie King. She recommended that you should experience desire and anticipation for their own sake – not for the sake of initiating sex. If you take the focus away from sex you’ll re-focus on the friendship and intimacy in your relationship. That’s where the romance comes from.
STOP: DON’T DO THIS CHALLENGE IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS IN TROUBLE
The Romance Reboot Challenge is ideal for couples who have a solid relationship that just needs a bit of a refresh.
If your relationship is in serious trouble you need to get professional counseling to stablize the relationship first.
If you don’t know where to turn for help, I recommend either locating a Gottman trained Therapist* or turning to the professional society for psychologists in your country, their websites usually have a ”Find a psychologist” feature.
READY FOR THE CHALLENGE?
The Romance Reboot Challenge started on May 1st 2018. Join the waiting list for the next challenge.
*The Romance Reboot Challenge is not affiliated or endorsed by the Gottman Institute. I just really like their research and approach!