Want long lasting love? Here’s how – in less than 10 seconds a day

A recent scientific study of ways that you can regulate your feelings of love found that you can boost feelings for your long term partner by thinking about the positive aspects of your partner and/or relationship and imagining positive future scenarios.

Tiny HabitsĀ® is a method of creating new habits, developed by Stanford University behaviour change researcher Dr. B J Fogg (here’s his TedX talk about it)

By combining these two things we can create a really simple way to promote long lasting love. All you need to do is to create a habit of thinking positive thoughts about your partner and your relationship every day.

Here’s how:

  1. You take an existing habit or trigger – something that you do at least once a day, but preferably multiple times. For this example, let’s use taking the first sip of coffee or tea.
  2. Then you use that trigger to remind you to think of positive things about your partner or relationship.
  3. Then you celebrate the fact that you remembered – according to the Tiny Habits method, that reinforces the relationship between the existing habit and the new one.

Let’s look at some examples of long lasting love Tiny Habits you could create using this method.

After I take the first sip of coffee or tea… I will think of one thing that I love about my partner… and then I will pump my fist in the air

or

After I take the first sip of coffee or tea…. I will recall a fantastic time I spent with my partner…and then I will smile

or

After I take the first sip of coffee or tea…. I will imagine my partner and I visiting somewhere we’ve always wanted to visit….and then I will click my fingers.

Don’t drink coffee or tea? Can’t see yourself pumping your fist in the air at your desk? You can change the trigger to something else you do each day and you can use any celebration method that feels right (think about how you normally react to really good news or success). The key is to use these steps to create a habit.

Leave a comment about your habit – did you find it easy? Did it change how you feel about your partner?

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