Hi, I’m Michelle Archard, creator of How to be Romantic and here’s what this website is all about.
Would you love more romance in your life?
Not sure how to maintain romance or regain it after the first flush of a relationship?
That was me.
Which is why, despite being not naturally romantic at all, I set out to find out how to achieve it.
I’m old enough to have learnt a few things about romance from the different relationships I’ve enjoyed through my life – some were wildly romantic and some just weren’t.
What was the difference?
As a trained scientist, I set out to research how to get romance into a relationship and how to keep it there.
Is it possible to learn romantic skills or
do you just have to be born that way?
Let me share an example. The wonderful man I have in my life now is as naturally romantic as I am, that is – not at all!
He makes me laugh until my stomach hurts but initially our relationship didn’t feature the tender touch, the romantic gestures and the loving compliments.
I read everything I could find about romance and compiled all the information from books, academic papers, TED talks and interviews with seemingly romantic couples as well as the techniques I’d learnt from previous relationships.
I demonstrated and asked for specific behaviours and voila – a great romantic relationship developed and has been maintained.
Sure it takes work, but the benefits of a happy, fun and satisfying relationship sure outweigh the effort involved.
Making romance easy
To make being romantic easy I compiled loads of information about date night ideas, romantic gifts and gestures.
Like you, I have a busy life with kids, work, household duties, friends and extended family. I needed a go-to resource for romantic ideas that would make it quick and easy to invest effort into my relationship.
That’s how this website and mobile app was born.
Friends started asking me for ideas after they saw the sort of things my partner and I did together (and the fun we were having!) so I decided to share them with anyone who wants to inject some romance into their relationship.
I research new ideas all the time and add them to the website and email them to those who have subscribed. I also publish a blog about what science is telling us about romance and relationships as well as information about how to create more romance in your life.
How to find romantic ideas that are right for you
The romantic ideas on this site (and in the app) are organised into logical groups and have filters you can apply to make it quick and easy to find an idea to suit the occasion and your situation.
The ideas are designed for everyone – male, female, gay and straight. I don’t believe women are naturally better at romance than men, so I research and publish the ideas with that in mind.
Many of the ideas can be applied wherever you live, but some of them are Australian-oriented as that’s where I live (feel free to contribute your ideas, no matter where you live).
If you are wondering why there are some somewhat scary sounding date night ideas it’s because researchers have found that doing novel and arousing things with your partner increases relationship satisfaction. They are probably activities you wouldn’t normally consider romantic, but after you’ve conquered something together and shared the rush of adrenaline you’ll be glad you did them!
I hope your relationship benefits from the investment in romance as much as mine has.
Member of the International Association for Relationship Research
Member of the US National Council on Family Relations